Don't waste your life in unforgiveness.
It is easy to hate someone or to be bitter. They've hurt you when you treated them too well. Or you realize they were never your friend, but it was convenient for them to be. Nothing is worth wasting your life in unforgiveness.
For the last three months, maybe more, the Lord has shown me this text:
Isaiah 43:18-19
My struggle
I was at a point in my life where I struggled to forgive and let go, but I realized that I still hated her whenever I saw this person. I hated the person I became because of this person. I was filled with resentment, bitterness, jealousy, and no peace. The cherry on the cake is that her life is going pretty well compared to my life. I just needed to stop focusing on her and start working on myself. Never is too late to realize this, it took me three years to finally look for closer on myself.
The healing process
I still think about her occasionally, but it is way less now. I'm in a happier place. Looking back four months ago, when I wrote my letter of letting go, I'm starting to like who I'm becoming. Her presence still bothers me occasionally, but less than before, and these are some of the things I did or I'm doing.
Please write a letter of letting go and burning it: It liberates you from the past.
Gratitude list: Some years ago, I was Journaling, and now I do a gratitude list. I write every day three things I'm grateful for, plus a prayer section where I write a few prayers about how I want the Lord to help me in my healing process. The last one is a top three to-do list. It is for the dreams that I want to accomplish.
Self-realization: It is ok to let people go of the past. It's ok if a relationship has ended. There is nothing wrong with not being friends anymore. This section is about realizing things that are out of your control. You can't control if this person doesn't want to say sorry, but you can do your inner work and realize that you don't need their sorry to move on.
Who I want to become: While hating her, I lost myself because I saw her as unique and special, and I was not. But with the work I was putting on myself, I realized that I didn't want to live the life she had. There is nothing about her life that I want for my life. It is not that I'm belittling or talking down on her to pep myself up. It's a realization that her life may benefit her but not me.
Growing closer to God: I have struggled to grow closer to God for the last three years. I resent Him because I thought He loved her more until I changed my point of view and realized what the Bible says about His love for me.
Hobbies/dreams: Finding what gives my heart happiness while doing it. I realized that a lot of things that I wanted to do were things I wanted to do when I was younger. I feel old to start now, but at least I will do something I like. The way will be longer because I don't have much free time because of work, but it will be a season of sacrifice to reach some goals. It will keep me focused on becoming the woman I want to be.
Goals: I have long-term and short-term goals, which will help me accomplish my long-term goals.
Blackboard: I write mostly Bible texts that come to mind on this board. It is an excellent way to refresh yourself with God's promises.
Habit: Creating new habits has been a lifesaver. It helps me focus on small things, like tidying my bed, drinking more water, etc.
What always gets my attention from this Bible verse is to stop dwelling on the past. Our past is what makes us feel stuck most of the time. It lets us lose touch with reality.
Don't waste your life in unforgiveness
It might feel like the right thing to do, but in the longterm it will hurt you. Unforgiveness brings ressentment, jealousy, bitterness an also comparison. All this will rob you the joy of life. It's worth nothing!
What I've learned
Letting go of what hurts you is not easy, but liberating. It gives you control of your emotions. You don't need to dwell in a victim state of mind—I've done that. Comparison is the killing of Joy. God blessed me as He blessed her, but if I only focus on her blessing, I will lose sight of all the blessings in my life.
Be blessed, and stay blessed!
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