I sinned again!

I have a sin I'm struggling with. I know it's wrong, but after fighting so long with it. I sinned again! Is this familiar to anybody?

What is the reason I stopped fighting? I'm also doubting my repentance. I often ask for forgiveness, but here I come again. Does God still want to forgive me?

How can I know I repented? Repentance is turning away completely from your sins. But that is what I'm missing; I initially felt bad for what I did, but now, not really. I question whether God will forgive me, but I'm not reaching the point of turning away completely from it. It's not based on a feeling but a decision, so I wonder if I repented. It feels like a losing battle every time.

How can I reach complete repentance? I think I will reach repentance when I hate the sin and love God more. I know I am at a place where the struggle to follow God is rocky. I hope that he can see I am honest even when I feel I'm not and can help me in my struggle to overcome my temptations.

I know I drifted so far from God that returning is hard. One day, I wanted to return to God, and the other day, to accept my new reality. I still see God's hand in my life. I want to return to where I trusted Him fully, but it's hard now to let go of the things that might not be in His will.

Be blessed, and stay blessed!