The deadly sin of Comparison

Everybody is unique. The Lord made all of us with a purpose. We don't need to try to fit in where we don't belong.

Comparison is nothing new for nobody. At some point in life, we all have compared ourselves with someone else. While comparing ourselves with others, we find ourselves not good enough, left behind in life, and so on. That is why comparing ourselves with others is dangerous. And I learn it the hard way.

I have been confronted with a comparison toward another woman. She is pretty, all the boys like her, and when she arrives, she is always the center of attention. But the problem is that her ex loved her so much that He couldn't let go of her. The sin of comparison began here because I liked this man. After he broke up with her, he wanted to date me, but I rejected him because I was convinced that the Lord told me no ( if it is true, I still don't know for sure). As we advanced, we became good friends and were a little more than friends. Then the ex came back and wanted to go back with him. It was a drama. Not going into much detail, but after that, it was a mess and only got worse.

When did the comparison towards this woman start? It started based on how I thought he loved her, and after all the wrong things, he still cares for her more than me " in my mind ."I felt that to win this man's heart; I need to be like her. I just wanted to be loved by someone. I was jealous that after all those years of good conduct, it wasn't worth it because nobody liked me. I had the urge to compete to win his heart. He saw it and told me it's not a competition; you don't need to do anything you don't want to win me over. But in my mind, the jealousy and comparison were so deep that I was anxious that he would realize he still loved her and leave me at any time. It is or was so bad (before my realization) that I would be at peace and happy if she stopped existing.

I even asked God what was so good about her that all the guys liked her. At some point, I even thought that the Lord wanted them to be together, so I had a lot of guild because of some things I did because they described they're relationship in the beginning at it was God's, that everything was good until they start sinning. When it came to me, we started wrong because No one decided what they wanted to do. For me, it was like the possibility for their relationship to please God was more significant than our relationship to please God, so I became more jealous because I didn't want to lose Him. I felt like the Lord only cared for them ( especially her).

In my story, you can see the danger of comparison. First, it starts very subtly because of a desire for something. When you start looking at everybody and see how blessed they are, and you are not, you will begin to take everything in control. Because I've waited on the Lord, I have been a good woman because I wanted to live and find love the way God has designed it to be. Out of fear of losing him, I started doing things I usually would never have done. While comparing, I lost myself because I thought my sacrifices by pleasing him would make him love me. What started the relationship; you need to keep doing that to maintain it. An example, If I used sex to win him over, I need to keep having sex with him to keep him. That is not what I wanted; I wanted him to love me for who I am. I wanted him to love me for me, but I was using all the wrong things to win him over.

It took a very look time for me to start understanding that you can't do anything for a man to love you. If he doesn't, he doesn't. After that process, I needed to deal with my desire and trust in the Lord. Also, I needed to understand that you must have and keep your standards and values because if you don't, someone else will put them for you. You will end up doing things that you never would have done. Even though I was angry with the Lord because I felt that he didn't care for me, but only for her because he only was blessing her. I needed to understand that it is a blessing, not because it looks like a blessing. That happens when you compare yourself with others; you start seeing that things are only good for them, but you cannot know for sure.

Moral of the story

You need to have your values and standards. You need to know what you want, stick to it, and don't accept things that go against them. Because only then can you make the right decisions for your life.

My process

I'm still wondering what the Lord wants for me because I'm her princess, and I know, even though I sometimes doubt, that he loves me and wants the best for me. If this man loves me, I don't need to do anything against my will to win him over because he will love me for who I am.

Be you; there is only one you!

Comparison is what cost that people hate on others. It is the root of envy and fills our hearts with discontentment. Why is it deadly? Because it kills Joy!